The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries by Michele Borba Ed.d

Author:Michele Borba Ed.d.
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: &NEW, Parenting, General, Family & Relationships, Self-Help, Child Rearing
ISBN: 9780787988319
Publisher: Jossey-Bass
Published: 2009-01-02T00:00:00+00:00

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The Big Book of Parenting Solutions

• Your child badmouths those who were her friends; she doesn’t want to talk about certain kids.

• Your outgoing kid suddenly becomes withdrawn, defiant, or moody; she loses her appetite, cries easily, loses interest in school, or has trouble sleeping—all around the same time that those friends stop calling. She comes home frequently from school or a social gathering noticeably more upset, angry, or sullen than when she left.

THE sOLUTiOn

Step 1. Early Intervention

• Be a good role model. Do you gossip about your girlfriends? Do you put your friend down behind her back? Do you exclude other women from your group of friends? Watch out. Your daughter is watching! Be the strong role model you want your child to become.

• Get savvy. Although cliques have always been around, they are different nowadays. Kids are meaner and more physical y aggressive. You can help your child navigate that social jungle better if you educate yourself about the social scene.

See the More Helpful Advice box for a list of books about cliques.

• Stay involved in your child’s life. It’s almost impossible for parents to prevent their kid’s involvement with cliques. So don’t try. But even though your child may be pulling away from your family physical y, she still needs you emotional y. Find ways to stay connected; one way may be by involving the moms of your child’s friends. Try forming a mother-daughter book club with clique members and their moms (or find a new group to help her separate from the Pay Attention to This!

Dr. L. Kris Gowen studied 157 girls between the ages of ten and thirteen.41 Those girls who were social y ridiculed or left out by cliques were particularly vulnerable to developing a negative body image and low self-esteem. The research also found that the girls mistakenly believed that if they were just prettier or thinner, they wouldn’t be teased and would be more likely to be included. But the only thing they did develop was a dangerous eating disorder. Tune in to your daughter’s feelings about her body and weight, especial y during the tween years.

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